“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.”
— John C. Maxwell
There are times when all of us lose track of our enthusiasm. With all of the stories that are out there about our world, and the stories we tell ourselves, it is easy to get turned around. It is important to pay attention to the way we feel because our feelings are the first indicator that we have lost touch with our goals, and are likely wandering down dead-end roads in our mind. When this happens, it is imperative to our success that we take some time to take care of ourselves.
Like the passengers on an airplane that is forced to make an emergency landing, we must put our own oxygen mask on first. Then it is easier to help the people around us do the same.
If we attempt to help others before we have taken care of ourselves, the help we offer might be compromised. This is particularly true with regards to our attitude.
We have all experienced servers at restaurants, who take our order, and deliver our food, yet seem burdened by the process. The effect of that attitude can put a damper on an outing. Similarly, when we interact with people out of a sense of obligation, rather than joyful giving, we might not like the feedback we get from those we are working with.
If, on the other hand, we take the time to get ourselves in a good state of mind, then our day, and the responses we receive from those around us are likely to be much more positive, and appreciative. It is a simple concept, yet one that is easy to overlook.
This week I was asked to talk to a student who attends one of the lunch groups I facilitate. He was in the middle of a challenging morning. The young man refused to enter his classroom and had been threatening to spray his teacher with the janitor’s cleaning supplies. When I asked him why he was threatening to spray people with cleaner, he shared with me his frustrations regarding being told what to do, and with having an adult follow him around to help him all the time.
I could hear how challenging that was for him, and could sense his relief as I listened with an open ear and an active appreciation for who he is. After a short conversation about the best way to proceed in order to have a good day for himself, he entered the classroom and got on with his day.
One thing that helped me to effectively connect with this student was the fact that I had spent the morning getting my own head moving in the right direction.
Prior to our encounter I was at a meeting and was experiencing doubt about myself and my value to the team. Rather than dwell on the negative, I slowed down, and started appreciating myself, as well as the people around me. It did not take long before I had a refreshed outlook and was contributing constructively to the group.
That boost in mood was still with me when I was asked to talk to the young man outside his classroom. I had compassion for the young man because I had just applied that same compassion to myself. I had let go of my own limiting beliefs and made a conscious choice about what kind of day I wanted to have. After having done this for myself, it was easy to extend that same love to him.
If you are feeling stressed at work, or at home, take some time to take care of yourself. Notice where your mind is dwelling. If it is going in a direction that does not feel good, slow down, and look at the world around you with new eyes. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are alright.
Next, find some things to appreciate about yourself and the people you are working or living with. Notice any improvements in your mood and appreciate them as well. It will not take long for your ship to catch the current of life and start sailing in the right direction.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.
