“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I had a wonderful meeting this week with a group of like-minded parents and colleagues. Everything came together perfectly and we all left feeling happy. I was especially relieved because the night before the meeting, just before going to bed, a voice of doubt arose in me. I began questioning whether or not I had prepared all the paperwork correctly and was afraid that I had not informed a team member of something that he needed to do for the meeting. My mind went through many possible solutions before I was able to relax enough to fall asleep.
Typically, I do my best not to take action out of the fears that arise just before a meeting. For some reason, this time was different. An hour before the meeting, I rushed into the office of the team member and rambled on about what I needed from him. To my surprise, he had already completed the work that I was asking him to do. Something that had nearly kept me up all night, turned out to be done. In my fear I had not even checked to find out if the paper had been filled out, I simply assumed that it was not.
I have learned that I create my experiences in more ways than I tend to realize. When I am able to recognize and honor my own responsibility in my experiences, I avoid much of the drama that used to drain my energy. Although it seems silly, I used to hide from situations because I was afraid I had failed, or that something bad was going to happen. I was believing the negative voices in my own head at those times, failing to have faith in myself, and the people in my life. It feels so much better to take a breath and affirm that all is well. It feels better to remind myself that I am worthy of my own respect and that the people in my life are on my side.
It is helpful to remember that life is an adventure. The fear transforms more easily into excitement. It is similar to being on a roller coaster. I know that I am going to be okay when the ride is over, yet I still feel terrified. All I can do is throw my hands in the air and scream, as I free fall into the unknown, trusting that the track is going to guide me safely back to the station. I could have benefitted from doing that before my meeting this week.
I often encourage my students to tell the truth about their feelings. If they are scared or confused about an assignment or a test, I suggest that they let their teachers know and be open to whatever help might be offered. In my case, I was chatting with a parent before the meeting and told her how anxious I had been. To my surprise, rather than judge me, she laughed. She said, “You mean you actually get nervous like everyone else? You mean you are a human being?” Her words were so comforting to me because I used to hide my anxieties, and found that it only made them bigger. Sharing how we really feel with others shines light upon that which we fear, making us more powerful, never less. In moments of anxiety, it takes a conscious and courageous choice to reach out to people, acknowledge the way we feel, and continue moving in a positive direction.
Is their something in your life that is bringing up fear and anxiety? Remind yourself that it is okay to have those feelings. Then take a moment to check the facts. List what you know to be true about yourself and your situation. Remind yourself of the times in the past when you felt the same way and ended up coming through just fine. Many of us feel like we are at the mercy of fear when it arises. The truth is that we are the ones who can bring mercy to our fears by being kind to ourselves. Take a moment to give yourself credit for all the good that you are doing. Relax into the awareness that you are more supported than you realize and that everything is going to be okay. By calming your own fears, you are less likely to get tangled up in the fears of others. You are worth the investment and the rewards.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.