“To succeed in life you need two things; ignorance and confidence.” – Mark Twain
This week we returned to action in Culver City Unified School District. As we all buzz through our days it is easy to get anxious and try to do too much. Underneath this rushing is often the fear that we will not get it all done, or perhaps we believe we are not qualified to meet the goals and challenges on the road ahead. The good news is that, in reality, we are all qualified for success.
Too often, the attitudes and beliefs that we bring to our endeavors give us the false impression that we are destined to fail. We may not even realize that the beliefs we are holding onto do not serve us. Perhaps we believe that in order to be successful we must be right 100 percent of the time, or that we have to look flawless in order to look good. The truth is that neither of these things have anything to do with real success or real beauty and prevent us from uncovering the very success and beauty we seek. The most successful people that I have met and read about are those who are able to learn from their experiences, regardless of the outcome. In my own life, I am amazed at the relief I feel as I slow down in the midst of a stressful day. As I sit and appreciate all that is going well in my life, I realize that I am much more successful than I sometimes give myself credit for.
I often work with students who have adopted beliefs about who they are and what they are capable of that amount to placing a ceiling on what is possible for them. I worked with one young man who is naturally one of the most reliable people you could ever meet. However, when we met, he believed the exact opposite. It started when he was much younger. He had some learning challenges and struggled to keep up with expectations at school. As such, the very idea of school created anxiety in him that made it even more challenging to complete his work. Over time, this experience turned into a belief that he was unreliable. Part of our work together has been to replace that misunderstanding with a new perspective. Step by step, he is beginning to see himself as the reliable person I know him to be. This more accurate perspective is supporting him in completing his assignments and the positive feedback he receives from his teachers and parents naturally reinforces his renewed belief in himself.
Many of us have ideas about ourselves that are just plain false. As long as we believe them and act from those beliefs they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Getting back in the flow with our success is simpler than it may appear. The first step is being willing to question our own limiting beliefs. The next step is to forgive ourselves for believing that we were somehow broken in the first place. From there it is matter of focusing on what is ours to do, one step at a time, with a refreshed perspective and a willingness to see ourselves anew.
As always, I invite you to ask yourself if there is something you believe about yourself, or your child, that is holding you back from the success that you desire. If so, take a moment to consider the possibility that it is simply a misunderstanding and that the solution is closer than you think. Then take a breath and choose one small step that you can take in the direction of the success you seek. It might be as easy as relaxing and realizing you are already further along than you have believed. When it comes to success, you are more qualified than you think.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org. For more articles, and a free, downloadable guide to connecting with children, go to www.TappingIntoGenius.com.