Learn to accept gifts when they come
“Until we receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart.” – Brené Brown
We all depend on others to get through the day. Whether it is family members, friends, or strangers behind the counter at the grocery store, someone is lending a hand. The better we get at accepting the gifts and services that others are offering, the happier we will be. The good news is that accepting gifts from others is a two way street of happiness. We benefit from the gifts, and the givers benefit from the wonderful feelings that come from being of service.
In fact, there is little in life that is more frustrating than someone who refuses a gift, in whatever form it takes. Many of us get hung up on the belief that accepting gifts makes us selfish, or greedy. We might also be holding onto the belief that abstaining from accepting gifts somehow makes us more humble or virtuous. Nothing could be further from the truth. All things in life require give-and-take to stay healthy and alive.
I once worked with a student who was at the end of his rope. He was in trouble with the law and struggling in school. There were so many challenging situations in his life that he was put in a position which made it easier for him to surrender to the help I offered. He had no other visible options and he decided to trust me and do what I asked.
His willingness to accept the gifts I offered, in the form of academic support and suggestions as to how to proceed with his desire to graduate, paid off. In a relatively short time, he got rid of his school detentions through community service and completed the credits he required to graduate. Coincidentally, his legal troubles ended favorably, and he went on to have a successful job with his family business.
All of the good was possible because he was willing to accept the gifts that were being offered. We do not have to wait until our back is against the wall to accept the gifts that life is offering. We can start by recognizing and appreciating all the many ways that the people around us are gifting us throughout our day. This simple act will shine a light on the world that will be reflected back to us in unexpected ways.
It is useful to write down all the amazing gifts we receive throughout our day. Often times, the gifts come disguised as an inconvenience, or they come from someone that we do not think of as gifting us. It might be someone who typically annoys us at work, or a child who we have judged to be a nuisance. By making a list of the help we are offered throughout the day, everything takes on a new look. We begin to see the world as loving and supportive.
Perhaps you are feeling like you are on your own and have to bare the brunt of too many personal responsibilities. If so, it is time to take a look around and let the help in. You can rest assured that, by accepting more help from others, and outwardly appreciating what you receive, your life will get easier and the people around you will love you for it. The added bonus is that your productivity will increase, along with the time you have available to do the things you love to do. That is a win-win situation that is worth exploring.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com or send an email to: EdwardBiagiotti@ccusd.org