“Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller
There is no better feeling than to realize that life is on your side. For all the tools and strategies that psychology can provide, none of them are as satisfying as getting that sense that everything is conspiring on your behalf. Sometimes it takes a life changing event to wake us up to how many people love and support us, and how good life is. The good news is, we do not have to wait for a major challenge to tap into the flow of optimism.
A student once came to me who felt like he was doomed. He believed that his back was to the wall and that the adults were taking pleasure in his failure. He had become trapped in the struggle of defending himself, usually getting himself further entrenched in what he believed to be a no-win situation. By spending time together, honoring his point of view, while presenting a more supportive perspective, he started to open up to new possibilities. I showed up as a living example of life being on his side, creating a space where he could reflect on the conclusions he had come to and the choices he was making. By not resisting his sometimes combative approach to life, he eventually got into the flow with school and was able to climb out of what he believed was a bottomless pit.
Many of the students in our district go through periods when they feel like the world is against them. With all of the stories on the news and the internet about the chaotic state of our world, it is easy to become dissuaded from the value of following their dreams and bringing out their best. The good news is, because they are young, they are not set in their ways. With a little encouragement they light up and believe that they can be who they really want to be in life.
Just like my student, we can all utilize the practice of quiet reflection. Anytime we relax, take our mind off whatever might be troubling us, and allow our thoughts to shift, perhaps focusing on something that brings us joy, we are recharging our battery. It is like hopping on a new train of thought when the one we are on is heading in the wrong direction. This type of reflection is effective because, without too much effort on our part, a renewed sense of well-being will bubble up from the inside.
And then the fun begins! As this wonderful feeling comes over us, we automatically release whatever grudges we were holding, or animosity we were feeling. This experience feeds our sense of wonder and optimism. The more we practice, the easier it is to go into that relaxed and receptive state throughout the day. This leads to better relationships, and the ability to accomplish more without expending as much energy.
If you are feeling down about the state of the world, or the state of your personal affairs, take heart. By slowing down, letting your mind rest, and indulging in some healthy leisure time, you can access that deep sense of wellness that will feed you in every area of your life. Rather than push through life, dragging doubts along with you, take the time to lighten up and recognize how supported you really are. Once you get that loving feeling, the rest is easy.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com or send an email to: EdwardBiagiotti@ccusd.org