- My teenager is in a relationship that seems to be getting more and more intimate. I am worried that my daughter does not have all of the facts or proper information to keep herself and her boyfriend sexually safe and healthy. My husband and I have avoided having “the talk” with her because we never knew what to say or when to say it. Please help.
- You are not alone. Many parents have not had comprehensive and frank discussions about sexuality with their teenagers. As a certified parent coach, I encourage you to start the dialogue now for the health and safety of your daughter and her boyfriend. Research shows that each year in the United States, about 750,000 adolescent females become pregnant, 20,000 young people are newly infected with HIV and nearly 4 million new sexually transmitted infections occur among 15- to 19-year-olds.
Advocates for Youth, the only organization that works in the United States and developing countries with a sole focus on adolescent reproductive and sexual health, offers parents 10 tips about how to begin the dialogue with children and teens about sex.
- Encourage communication by reassuring your children that they can talk to you about anything.
- Take advantage of teachable moments. A friend’s pregnancy, news article or a TV show can help start a conversation.
- Listen more than you talk. Think about what you’re being asked. Confirm with your child that what you heard is in fact what he or she meant to ask.
- Don’t jump to conclusions. The fact that a teen asks about sex does not mean that he/she is having or thinking about having sex.
- Answer questions simply and directly. Give factual, honest, short and simple answers.
- Share your values early and often. You play the most important role in your child’s sex education.
- Reassure young people that they are normal – as are their questions and thoughts.
- Teach your children ways to make good decisions about sex and coach them on how to get out of risky situations.
- Admit when you don’t know the answer to a question. Suggest the two of you find the answer together on the Internet or in the library.
- Suggest that at times, your teen may feel more comfortable talking with someone other than you. Together, think of other trusted adults with whom he/she can talk.
For more information about adolescent reproductive and sexual health, visit advocatesforyouth.org or join Marni Parsons and Jade Singer, PA, as they present a talk filled with information on parenting and teen sexuality at the Culver City Julian Dixon Library, 4975 Overland Ave., on May 12, from 6 p.m. – 8 p.m. Space is limited. Call Parsons at (310) 435-3622 or email coachmarni@acoach4parents.com to reserve a seat.