“If I can get quiet enough to truly check-in with myself, I usually end up on the right track.” –Taylor Schilling, Orange is the New Black
This week I was feeling sluggish. It was a combination of the clock springing forward and part of me that was feeling frustrated with certain elements of my job. There was not a great deal of work to be done, and still I felt like I was carrying a weight on my back. I felt like I was driving through life with my emergency brake on. This morning, rather than push through the resistance, I decided to pull over and listen to myself.
When I stopped at the side of the road, I felt immediate relief. I needed to listen to the messages that had been bubbling up inside. As I sat and took inventory of my thoughts, I started to feel lighter. I noticed that underneath my frustration was a wisdom that was trying to get out. The voice within me was reminding me how important it is to be happy and to live the dreams that bring me enthusiasm. I also realized that my motivation for the work I do with children has evolved over time.
When I started out as an educator, I believed the world was broken. As a result, I believed that it needed to be fixed and changed. I was compelled to go down every rabbit hole of tragedy that showed up in the newspaper and on the news. I wanted to know why the world was such a scary place and what I could do to save it. Much of my time was spent battling my own anxieties and I had no clarity regarding my place in the world. Over time the picture started to change. My focus shifted from what is happening on the outside to discovering and bringing peace to what is happening on the inside.
What is refreshing about this approach is the effect that it has on my world and the people that I interact with. My students demonstrate more positive progress and personal growth when I interact with them from my newfound place of peace and clarity. I believe it is because they are able to be their best self in my presence. Whereas I once feared the worst from the world and the people in it, I now expect the best. This shift in my own expectation has translated into more effective teaching and more joy in my life.
There are times when I know that my students are in a place that nothing will get done if I try to force them to learn. At those times, I choose to listen and assist them in releasing their resistance before proceeding. I do this by encouraging my students to recognize their own potential, to enjoy being in school, and to give themselves a break from worry. Over time, students begin to see the light and start investing themselves in learning. For example, I work with a high school student that went from being disinterested and troublesome to being a diligent worker. He was also recently elected to student council by his teachers. I could not have forced that shift in his performance. Instead I honored myself, as well as him, trusting that everything would happen in its own time. Now I look forward to our sessions together and they are some of my most productive sessions.
One key to finding this peaceful, effective place within myself is taking inventory of my emotions when they arise. By tending to my own inner fire, I am less likely to spend my days trying to put out the fires happening around me. As in my opening example, when I soothed myself by listening to my own concerns, I no longer had to struggle to make progress. It happened naturally.
If you are feeling sluggish and are having trouble making progress in any area of your life, take some time to slow down your vehicle. Find a place where you can sit quietly and listen to whatever concerns, fears, and frustrations are present within you. Listen to yourself with an open ear, and be grateful to yourself for bringing all of those things to your attention. Imagine you are a loving grandparent, soothing a child who is having a rough day. As you do, you will notice that your mind will relax. You will be surprised by the wisdom that emerges from within. The relief you feel and the clarity you experience will make this time worthwhile.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.