“When we learn to be gentle with ourselves, this is truly taking care.” – Cat Li Stevenson
One of the reoccurring themes in these articles is developing a loving relationship with yourself and those around you. I have found that all of my relationships are reflections of how I treat myself, so learning to be kind to myself is an ongoing process that is worth investing in. It is not always easy to be kind to ourselves when we are met with all the voices that come up inside as we move through our days. Whether I am teaching, surfing, or recording music, managing my own thoughts plays a huge role in determining both my level of success and my level of enjoyment.
Last week I completed teaching a five-week extended school year session offered to students with special needs in Culver City Unified School District. I came away with a renewed appreciation for the amount of planning and work that goes into teaching. Even after a shortened school day, I was mentally drained and ready for a nap. There were several strategies that supported me during my days; one of them was practicing being kind to myself, and then passing it on to the people around me.
There are times when the mind gets off track and starts to work against me. It will begin sending me thoughts that are critical, doubting, and full of fearful predictions. In the past, I believed these thoughts and would stop doing the things that I loved because it was too hard to continue with all that negative chatter. Nowadays, I have to consciously practice inserting some kind thoughts and self-appreciation into my day when I find myself running negative stories about who I am and what I am doing.
One thing that helps to lift my mood is making lists of things that are going well. Even if those things are unrelated to what I am doing, just listing them reminds me that my world is not as bleak as some of my thoughts would indicate. I used this technique recently, when I was in a studio in upstate New York recording vocals for an upcoming album. Although I was originally inspired by the project and had been planning the sessions for a long time, when I stepped into the studio, my mind had a few things to tell me about how silly it was for me to be recording music, especially vocals. I started to feel homesick and inwardly questioned myself. It was then that I opened the notepad application on my cell phone and made a list of all the things that are going well in my life. This included my loving relationship with my wife, my success as a teacher, and the fact that I had been flown in to record these vocals in the first place. While this did not completely erase all the doubts and fears that I was experiencing, it did give me enough room to successfully complete the 10 songs that we set out to record.
By taking a moment to step out of the habitual thoughts that pop up, and doing something kind for ourselves, everything gets better. There is no need to get caught up in other people’s negativity if we are willing to take care of our own. This simple practice, which can also include making lists of the positive aspects of ourselves and the other people in our lives, will have a ripple effect and the results continually amaze me. Take some time out of your day to remind yourself that you are worthy of all the good that is coming to you. If you are feeling down, remind yourself of the reasons you have to be grateful, or simply give yourself a break. You are worth the effort, and your efforts will be reflected back to you by the people you know and love.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio. org. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius. com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.