“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact.” – William James
My friend, Sister Marie James, at “Pauline Books and Media” approached me over the weekend and let me know that someone had stolen their patio furniture. This hip group of nuns was tucked into their convent beds when someone ran off with their tables and chairs. They wanted to know if I could write an article about it. I decided to reflect on their dilemma and see if there was something that I could do. I realized that we all face things that upset us and seem very unfair. It is tempting, in those moments, to feel victimized by these outside happenings. While it is natural to have an initial period of upset, I have learned that these moments are also a time to practice letting go of what we think should happen and open up to new possibilities.
When we are faced with troubling circumstances, it is tempting to curl up in a ball and hope it all goes away. While I enjoy curling up in a ball as much as the next person, I have found that there are more productive uses of my time. In fact, how I respond to situations, like the ones that the nuns are facing, can often determine whether or not I find the silver lining. In this case, by reaching out to me, maybe someone will read this article and have information about the whereabouts of the lost furniture, or donate a new set of furniture to the loving group of sisters. I have found that taking a deep breath, letting go of what I had expected to happen, and then staying open to the good that might come is always a wise choice.
In the past, it was my reactions to upsetting situations that actually did the most harm to my life situation. If I had reached out for help in those times when I was failing calculus, or when I was going through a difficult relationship, I might have had better outcomes than I did by placing my head in the sand or lashing out at others. Thankfully, through encouragement from dear friends, and seeking out new ways of doing things, I have discovered a rather friendly and helpful world out there, those people who exist that are much more loving than the scary people I conjured up in my mind, and heard about in movies and on television.
Part of my job as the Inclusion Specialist for our district is to model and teach more productive ways for my students to access the help that they need. Like many of us, I have students who give up rather quickly when things to not seem to be going their way. Some of my students have learning challenges and disabilities that make the things that come easy to others, rather difficult for them. I understand why they would feel like life has dealt them a bad hand. I also understand when they feel like other people do not understand what they are going through. I honor the unique challenges that all of our students face. At the same time I encourage my students to seek a higher perspective on things. I encourage them to take things less personal and to get clear on what they are struggling with. From there I encourage them to look around and open up to all of the support that is available. The worst thing we can do when we are facing a struggle is to close ourselves off to the help that is available. In my line of work I interact with a steady stream of loving human beings who have devoted their lives to helping others.
I am not sure what will happen with the future of the nuns’ patio furniture, though I can say that something good will come of it. A friend of mine once asked his mentor what would happen if all of this positive thinking turned out to be a lie. His mentor laughed and told him that it would be great. When asked what he meant, his mentor replied, “Well, we would spend a lifetime enjoying the benefits of living in a friendly world, and then find out it was all a lie. That would be the funniest thing ever!” When I was told this story it took the weight off of deciding what kind of world I choose to live in.
If there is something happening in your life that seems negative, take a step back and bless it. Take a moment to wonder what good might come out of the situation. Give yourself permission to ask the question and stay open to possible blessings that could be arising in the least expected ways. If you really feel like stepping out boldly, I know some nuns who can use some new patio furniture. They live at Pauline Books and Media, 3908 Sepulveda Boulevard, in Culver City.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.