“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” – Marcus Aurelius
I was speaking with a colleague who was having a challenging moment. She doubted whether or not she was in the right profession. It seemed to her that things were not going well because of some feedback she had received. I reminded her that I have been in the field for 18 years, and the trickiest part of the job is learning how to take care of yourself in a way that allows you to continue to do the work that you love to do, even when things are challenging you.
Many people who are attracted to working jobs that focus on service also happen to be very sensitive. It is our sensitivity that allows to connect easily with others. This sensitivity also makes it easier to understand and feel what someone else is going through. These gifts make sensitive people perfect for jobs that involve helping people.
On the other hand, because sensitive people are able to feel so much, it is easy to get weighed down. It is easy to mistake other people’s feelings for our own. Once this happens, it can become a negative spiral. Thank goodness, there are people around us who have been down this road before and can point us in the right direction.
I have been blessed to work alongside many veteran educators. There have been times where their input has been the just the boost I needed to keep going. They have helped me remember that this job can be tough and that it is important not to take the words, and sentiments, of the people around us, personally.
I can remember sitting with the director of Special Education, Jo-Anne Cooper, after a meeting. I felt like I was not doing a very good job on the case because the meeting had some contentious energy and I was internalizing it. Ms. Cooper reminded me that she was once a speech therapist. She let me know that the way I was feeling was natural and that it was important to let go of those doubts as soon as possible. Her understanding, and encouragement, were just what I needed to get on with my day.
All of those moments of doubting myself in the face of challenging situations have taught me to be good to myself, even when it is difficult to do so. The greatest people in any sport, or profession, have had to face their own doubts and limiting beliefs, in order to come out on the other side.
In his first year in the playoffs, Kobe Bryant shot five consecutive air-balls in the fourth quarter of an important game. That temporary failure inspired him to come back stronger the next year, turning him into the Kobe Bryant that Laker fans now embrace and celebrate.
It is always the voices in our own head that matter most. When the voice in our head turns into one of self-criticism, that is when we must take inventory. It is important to slow down in those moments and remember what is real. We are all worthy of our own respect. We are worthy of love, simply because we are here on this planet. When we take the time to remind ourselves of these simple truths, the rest of our lives will fall into place along those same lines.
If you are stressed, and feel less than qualified for the job you are doing, or the relationships you are involved with, take a moment to check-in with yourself. Acknowledge how you are feeling and then shift your focus.
Is there someone you know who you can talk to, or an inspiring book you can read? Choose anything that will remind you that you are better off than you are currently believing yourself to be. You can start by reminding yourself that you are alright, and that you are worthy of your own respect.
Once you establish a loving connection with yourself, new ideas and insights will begin to come forward. From there, you can take any action that might be required, and you can rest assured that you are headed in the right direction.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.