Although I dabble on Facebook, I rarely participate in the day-to-day posts and updates. I’ve even stopped sending happy birthday wishes due to the simple fact that someone is having a birthday every three days. I have 165 “friends” with most of them being ex-employees from my 29 years with the City of El Segundo. It’s interesting to keep up with their baby making, career moves and geographical locations.
I’m sure I would have loved Facebook in my teens and 20s, however, today I find it mildly informative, amusing, and often extremely annoying. My favorite parts of Facebook are the videos involving animals or amazing stunts and the pictures of friends in unique places or interacting with “famous” people. This is the point where I am going to get myself into some trouble…again!
Please, don’t take this personal. If you are guilty of these transgressions no problem, it’s me not you. However, I see absolutely no redeeming value in viewing a picture of your nightly dinner consisting of baked lasagna, a tossed green salad, brussels sprouts and a huge glass of red wine. It’s your dinner, I get it. Go ahead, eat and enjoy your meal but don’t send pictures of it to us.
Oh, cool, you even posted the receipt for me below the pic. Maybe you could also send me a shot of your empty plate when you’re done to show me you ate all your veggies. Then tomorrow morning… forget it.
Perhaps you have too much time on your hands? How about volunteering down at the local library or senior center and helping those who need assistance, and bypass posting a shot of “the best meatloaf ever!” Unfortunately, I just lost 23 Facebook “friends” with that declaration. By the time I’m finished I’ll have about 12 friends remaining. I believe I have at least that many who would agree with me.
Okay, now that I’m on a roll, here are a few other trivial Facebook irritants. Before I continue allow me to stipulate that I do understand the site is a fantastic place to stay in touch and share photos with family and friends who live in other locations. I also agree that most of the time it’s a much simpler way to communicate than phone calls. I just ask for moderation and clear thinking before posting. I dread seeing the “Billy Barty has changed their profile photo.” Message. Prepare yourself for the gushing, glowing, obsequious comments regarding the recent update. “Oh Billy you look so handsome!” Or, “Billy have you lost weight?” Or “Billy you should have been a male model.”
I have never seen a negative response to a new personal photo. Sure, no one wants to be callous, petty or cruel, but just once I would like to see total honesty. Being a big fan of sarcasm, I’ve often thought of commenting on recent profile pictures but usually remain silent. However, someday, after a few beers, when seeing another profile update snapshot I just might respond. “Hey Billy, don’t be afraid to order a salad the next time you hit Denny’s.” Or, “Dude, that’s a creepy smile.” Or, “Put the pic of you at the petting zoo back up, it’s a classic.” You know something with derision and pluck. A little warning shot to send a message to your “friend.”
Also, please no political stuff “friends.” Whether you are liberal, conservative, Republican, Democrat, left, right, independent or Libertarian, keep it to yourself or share with only the people you know think like you do. Some people get absolutely crazy when discussing politics. I guess the people that send these annoying posts believe we all think alike. Ground control to Major Tom (look it up), we don’t!
I beg of you no pictures of you working out in the gym, shirtless (I might make a few exceptions on that one). No videos of you doing curls, setups and most of all, squats.
I could go on but what’s the point. You get my gist. I’m struggling to adapt to these new electronic “toys” and the fresh ways of communicating without talking. Make sure to check out my Facebook page next week. I’ll be posting an informative video of my colonoscopy titled—‘Buried Treasure.’ Just kidding, I’m not due for another one for six years.