“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein
I am always looking for new ways to approach meetings for our school district. Whether it is a staff meeting, or a meeting with a family, I have had to learn how to hold them in my mind in a way that does not bring up fear and anxiety. It is like there is still a little kid inside of me that thinks he is either in trouble, or is not going to know the right answers when it is my turn to speak, and wants to avoid those situations at all costs. Thankfully, this week I was preparing for my weekly podcast and the topic is using meetings as an opportunity to encourage one another. As I thought about it and spoke about it with my co-host, it became clear that meetings, no matter what type, are actually designed as an opportunity to move things in a positive direction.
Whether I am meeting with a parent, a teacher, or even meeting with a mechanic, these are all opportunities to come together and shine light on a situation. By keeping a positive outlook, I realize that we are all in this together and that our primary objective is to encourage one another, to recognize the solutions that are available to whatever situation we are facing. Any other use of my time is self-defeating. I know because I wasted countless hours sitting with people and chewing on problems from a point of frustration and hopelessness, seeking to place blame, rather than staying open to new ideas and perspectives that might present themselves. This shift in attitude, from struggling with problems to looking for solutions, creates results that surprise me every time.
This week I was getting together with some colleagues to discuss a new case that I am working on. It is a case that has had a history of frustration. It involves a capable student who has not been performing up to his potential and whose attitude has been, at times, quite combative. Thankfully, the team that is already working on the case is very good at what they do, and a new plan has been developed. I am a part of that new plan. As I prepared to enter our first preliminary meeting I was nervous and not sure what I would be able to add. In the past, I would feel stuck in that dreadful feeling and hope for the best. This time I tried something different.
The night before the meeting I sat, closed my eyes, and relaxed my mind. Then I thought about everyone involved and reflected on what I appreciate about each of them. I felt relieved and started sensing that something good was possible in the case. I realized that I do not have to be afraid of not knowing the answers because life is a process, and I will figure things out as I go. In fact, given what I know now, it would not be possible to have it all figured out. In my job, being willing to not know and still participate is a valuable asset. This is really the foundation for the scientific method, and is the way all great discoveries are made. I decided that I would show up with an open mind and a desire to encourage and appreciate those who I would be working with on the case and see what came of it.
Although I did prepare, when it came time for the actual meeting some of the fear returned. I was tired and had already worked a full day with students. All I could do was show up and have faith that it was going to turn out alright. At the start, I felt tempted by frustration. I was not sure how I would be able to help. Then I had a hunch to just sit and simply avoid getting caught up in the frustration in my own mind. Sure enough, as I sat listening to the team, questions and ideas started forming in my head.
As I shared my ideas and asked my questions, being honest with what I knew and what I didn’t know, the plan started to clarify. Soon the meeting was over and I felt a sense of camaraderie with everyone involved. I also had a clear idea regarding my next steps on the case. What a relief.
Take a moment and think about any meetings you have coming up. Ask yourself about your intention for the meeting. Are you open to new ideas and ways of looking at things? Are you imagining the possibility of positive outcomes? Albert Einstein is reported to have said that the most important question you can answer is whether you live in a friendly or a hostile universe. I used to think of the world as hostile and was constantly afraid of what might happen. Now that I have decided upon, and discovered, a friendly universe, it is amazing how even a meeting can be an excuse to encourage others.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius. com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.