A few years ago, I learned about an unbelievable event concerning one of my old high school friends, who I will call Bill for the purpose of this story. Before I share that twisted tale, I must present a little history on our relationship. Although Bill and I were friends, we shared an on-again off-again relationship due to his frequent bouts with alcoholism. Simply put, he was a nasty, mean drunk. Consequently, we had our last falling out about 18 years ago, and I have not seen or heard from him since.
In fact, I thought he had died due to his poor health. When last we spoke, he was recovering from two heart attacks and sounded as if he were physically and mentally at deaths door. A little while back I received an unexpected call from another long-lost buddy who happened to be a good friend of Bill’s back in high school. He had gotten my phone number online and decided to call and surprise me. During the call, Ray informed me that in 2000 Bill had been living with him in Oregon. Ray, being a true friend, had taken him in and tried to help him get back on his feet. At the time, Bill was broke and severely depressed. Ray then related to me the unbelievable saga of our old friend Bill. Below is the actual newspaper report from Beaverton, Ore. in 2004.
Bank Re-Entry Not a Good Idea
Bill, 54, from Beaverton, Ore. was out of cash and decided to rob a bank. He made a few mistakes. His equipment was OK – he had a knit cap, a bandanna face cover, a loaded gun and a bag to put the cash in. And he had a plan. Get the money, steal a car, ditch the car, get in his own car, drive away. He parked his old Toyota Camry a few blocks away from the bank in a mall parking lot early one Thursday afternoon in May and walked to the bank. Once there, he herded the 12 people in the branch to one end of the lobby and ordered two tellers to empty their drawers into the bag, and then sent them into the vault for more cash. While this was going on, he demanded car keys from one of the customers, who gave him his whole set of keys and told him the silver Infiniti Q45 was his. Bill took his bag of cash, with close to $200,000, and left the bank. While employees were calling the police, he was observed standing outside in the parking lot, trying to open the car door. Evidently he couldn’t figure how to do it. So he took off his mask, and walked back into the bank to ask the customer which key he needed to use! He finally left in the silver car, with police close behind, following the tracking device in the bag of cash. He parked in the mall parking lot next to his own car, took the time to put the keys under the driver’s seat as he had promised the hapless customer, and was arrested when he left the Infiniti and got into his Toyota. He told police it was his “first try at robbing a bank.”
I was dumbfounded! Bill had been a little quirky and drank too much back in the day, but bank robbery, wow! Ray informed me that Bill had received an 8-year sentence, which meant he was probably out of prison by now, although Ray had not heard from him. It proves the adage; you can’t judge a book by its cover. This story was picked up by newspapers from all over the country due its bizarre events. If you would like to read some of the rather darkly humorous takes on Bill’s (real name will appear in articles) ill-fated heist, google police: bank robber forgets getaway car Beaverton or 2004