“I’m not the one to sit and cry over spilt milk. I’m too busy looking for the next cow.” – Gordon Ramsay
A friend of mine was having a tough moment. She was approaching the last day of her participation in a baseball league that she has belonged to for many years. The meaning it held for her was deep. You see, this is not your average league. She has been playing in the Challenger Division of Little League baseball. It was created to give children and young adults with physical and mental challenges an opportunity to enjoy the game.
My friend is in a wheelchair. The Challenger Division allowed her to fully participate in a sport that she never thought she would be able to play. She says that it helped shape the amazing person she has become and has empowered her in every area of her life.
When I saw her text, expressing the sadness that she was feeling about her time in the league ending, I had to pause and think about how to respond. I thought about the times that I have had to say goodbye to activities that have been important in my life. I realized that the hardest part of saying goodbye to one chapter of life is facing what seems to be a void, and not knowing what to do about it.
Then it dawned on me that there is one thing that always helps me move on when an activity, job, or relationship has ended. The key is to look forward to what is coming next
. If we can take our focus off of what we are leaving behind, and joyfully anticipate what is coming next, we get back in the flow with life.
The temptation to hang on to things is natural. It takes practice to focus our minds on what might be coming next. Our mind is a creature of habit, and will only change if we intentionally choose something new to think about. The reason that it is important to keep looking forward is that life is always evolving and expanding.
If we remain open to the idea that something better is coming, then it is easier to release our grip on what we are leaving behind. This is what some people refer to as faith. The good news is that one does not have to consider themselves to be spiritual in order to have faith.
The toughest part of change is remaining calm in the process. The more poise we maintain, the more readily we will recognize and embrace the new opportunities that come along. Poise in the ability to stay engaged in life, even in the face of uncertainty. It pays off because we make better decisions when our mental state is one of calm confidence.
I was delighted when my friend texted me a few days later. She thanked me for being right when I suggested that the end of her time with the Challenger Division was simply an indication that something better was on the way. While she had trouble believing it when I told her, it turned out to be true.
On the day of her final game, she was not the only one who was wrapping up her career. In fact, a fellow player told her that he was also graduating and had located another league that was open to people of all ages. My friend wass ecstatic and relieved that she will be able to continue playing the sport she loves.
If things are changing for you, take a moment to appreciate what you have experienced. Then turn your attention to what is coming next. Rather than lament what is gone, prepare for something even better. Life keeps moving, and if we cooperate we will always be pleasantly surprised by our next adventure. Living this way keeps us energized, flexible, young, and enthusiastic, regardless of our age.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com.
