“Cherish your human connections – your relationships with friends and family.” – Barbara Bush
Last week I had a challenging experience. A colleague, whom I have known and been friendly with for a handful of years, denied me access to the space where I facilitate lunch groups at a particular school. I do not have a key, as I only use the space once per week, and thought he was joking, or having fun with me. As such, I found an alternate way in and ran a successful lunch group.
This week, I was informed that the same colleague was planning on speaking to the principal about the group. He was inquiring about my job description and was intent on making sure we did not go back to the space. To be fair, he was concerned with keeping the space clean and about the number of kids in the group. He was also genuinely unaware about what it is I do for the district. From the outside, it might be difficult to see the value in what we all do together each week in the lunch group. It was tempting to take the whole thing personal, and try as I might, part of me did just that. I did not realize how personal I was taking it until I was out surfing in the ocean one evening and a deep rush of emotion started pouring out. I was angry, really angry. I imagined myself pulling rank on the fellow, letting him know exactly what I do and what I would do if my group was interfered with again. I thought about all the children that I work with and the amount of benefit they gain from having a place to feel heard and seen each week. I thought about the value of having a truly inclusive group on campus, where no one is labeled, and everyone is treated equitably.
After the anger subsided, I felt sad. I felt the fatigue of stepping out on a limb, again and again, in support of the young people that I work with. I thought about the misunderstanding people I had faced throughout my career, demanding to know what I am doing, or who I am, when I am clearly wearing a badge that states that I am the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. Even though there are times when I do not exactly know what the role of Inclusion Specialist means, I do know that my heart is in this for one reason: I love connecting with these children and creating a space where they feel heard, and in turn, they hear one another.
As I sat in the ocean, and the waves rolled in, I started to realize on a deeper level how important inclusion is. It simply feels painful to be excluded. It is not healthy for our community to exclude people. Every person holds a sacred place in this world, and the way that the world is healed is by each individual remembering their value. We can help each other to do this by looking through loving, inclusive eyes.
When all the emotions passed, I was left with a sense of gratitude. My friend and colleague means no harm, and I know this to be true. He gave me the opportunity to reflect on my own purpose for doing what I do, and strengthened my resolve in cultivating an inclusive vision of the world. This situation also presented me with an opportunity to hold him in the same light I have always held him. To exclude him from that light would not help me or him. I am grateful that I had the time in the ocean to acknowledge my feelings, to honor myself, and in turn, to honor all those whom I work alongside.
It is amazing how, when I take the time to honor my feelings, a deeper truth is allowed to emerge. I am offered an opportunity to make a new choice, rather than react out of some bottled up hurt that just happened to be triggered by this situation. What challenges are you facing that you need to air out? What new insights and clarity are waiting for you if you are willing to give voice to your authentic feelings? There might be an opportunity to reconnect with your sense of purpose in life. Your inner genius is always closer than you think.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.
