In English, “thank you” derives from “think,” it originally meant, “I will remember what you did for me” –
David Graeber, Author
One of my students sat down after a recent lunch group to ask me about my job writing for the newspaper. He wanted to know where I got the ideas for my stories. He suggested that I write about all of the wonderful experiences that I have with my students. I assured him that I do just that.
In my work for the school district, I am frequently given opportunities to learn, grow, and change the way I look at life. Just this week I was working with a group of four year old students who gave me a run for my money. The group expanded from three students to eight students, as I generously allowed them to invite friends to the session. When the group was smaller, I had forgotten how young they are because they simply went along with my ideas and we had a great time. This week, that same calm and easy group became exponentially more enthusiastic.
The fun started when a student responded to one of my questions with potty humor. This concept spread rapidly, and visibly, through each of their young minds. One of the new students, who I thought was going to be the more reserved friend, turned into a fireball. The group’s volume and delight rose as they found new ways to respond to my innocent games with potty humor related answers.
It is not easy to keep a straight face when a four year old responds that there favorite food is “poopy butt”. I was caught off guard and did my best to make it through the remaining ten minutes with some poise and good humor, despite the fear welling up inside me that I was losing my crew. I also feared that anyone walking by was going to think badly about me as a teacher. Thankfully, I have gone down that road enough times to calm my own fears, and keep moving with a smile on my face.
I walked away with an opportunity to freshen up my approach and come back better prepared to create a collaborative, fun experience for this little group of happy people. I get to increase my own level of enthusiasm for facilitating the group. That’s the only way to play if you are going head to head with these youngsters.
These constant surprises and adjustments keep me fully engaged in my life. I have learned to look for the reasons to be grateful, to find the silver lining in every challenge, and to consider every experience as an opportunity for greater joy. Had I believed the fearful voices in my head, I might have considered myself a failure, or blamed the experience on someone else. I have come to find that blame just adds to the frustration and does not lead to solutions.
This week I was able to catch my thinking early. I refrained from punishing the students for saying things that are developmentally appropriate. I also refrained from punishing myself for not being fully prepared for what I experienced in the lunch group. Instead I did my best to lovingly redirect the conversation in an appropriate direction, and be gentle with myself in the process. I know that the next session will be better for me, and that the children will look forward to having more fun with Mr. Biagiotti.
Being grateful is a practice. I used to think that happy people were just better off than I am, blessed with some ability to be positive that I did not have. Now I know that we all have the potential to seek out the good. So take the time, no matter how challenging the situation you are facing, and ask yourself how you can be more appreciative of your efforts. Consider the possibility that the situation is actually working out for the best. In the beginning, it can feel like learning to write with your opposite hand. This is normal. Keep experimenting with it and you will tap into the genius of appreciation. It is always available.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week at 3 pm on www.UnityOnline- Radio.org.