“The best way to conquer an enemy is to make him your friend.” – fortune cookie
This week I started working with new groups of children throughout the district as we kicked off the lunch groups in several elementary schools. I am always fascinated by the children I meet, regardless of their story or their label. It is amazing to me that we are all created so uniquely, while underneath it all we are so much alike. One of the things I endeavor to model for the students in our district is acceptance and appreciation. I encourage our students to see one another as allies, rather than enemies. I also encourage them to embrace their individuality, including the quirks that come with being human.
We are all different in some way. Whether we admit it or not, there are things about us that set us apart as unique individuals. These qualities are like signatures that we share with the world. When we are feeling good, these things are a great reminder of the diverse beauty that exists. When we are struggling, and feeling out of place, these same qualities can seem like obstacles toward our peace and well-being. For children with special needs, and anyone who feels out of place, it is helpful to find perspectives and examples that support them in finding their place in the world. I believe it is always a matter of acceptance and appreciation. First we accept who we are, and then we open up to appreciating the unique gifts we bring to life.
Sometimes this means that we must break out of our definitions of how things are supposed to be. This week I met a kindergarten student who has issues with putting his hands on other children, pushing them when they get in his way. He is larger than most of his peers and has a bit of a menacing look in his eye. I could see that he is not aware of his own strength or the effect that he has on others. Rather than punishing him for being the way he is, I reminded him that he is bigger and stronger than the other children and that he must use his strength to protect and support his friends rather than take it out on them. I encouraged him to view all of them as his friends and to make sure that he looks after them. His mood brightened and he seemed to take in my words with pride, realizing that he must use his gifts in service to his friends.
It is this type of language, and this type of story, that young minds can understand and relate to. By tapping into their sense responsibility to one another, and their deeper sense of right and wrong, they are better able to rise to the occasion. This is especially true when they get to feel good about themselves in the story. They get to change their role from villain to hero in their own lives. It is tough to maneuver the world, and be successful, without a sense that we are perfect just the way we are. This is the type of perfection that allows us to make good choices and to feel that it is worth it to give our best effort to all that we do. No matter what age, we can all benefit from a personal story that inspires us to live life to the fullest.
Take a moment to think about your own life, and the lives of your children or students. Are you resisting parts of yourself, or others, that could be looked at in a new light? Be willing to see everything as if it plays a role in a plan that is bigger than you understand in this current moment. Then bless it all, and stay open to new ideas and insights that confirm this new perspective. When one of us is willing to accept and appreciate who we are, everyone around us benefits. With this type of attitude we find gifts in what once seemed to be obstacles.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting guide.