“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey
Last week I mentioned an encounter I had with a challenging student in one of my lunch groups. This week, I have to say, things got better. For the first half of the group the student was cooperative and engaged in everything we were doing. Then, at a certain point, his attention wandered and his potty humor returned. It took some patience, and a few deep breaths, to finish the group and wish everyone well. I was tempted, once again, to give the young man a stern lecture. Then I realized that what he really needed was praise.
One thing that I did differently this week was to offer up little yellow slips of paper, as a reward to every member of the group able to follow a set of guidelines for good behavior. It is part of a system used throughout the school. The slips are placed in a raffle and students are able to win prizes. I had written each student’s initial on a piece of paper and let them know that as long they did not get three strikes for violating our behavioral guidelines, they would earn their raffle slip. Every student in the group earned their slip, except one. The very student I had talked with last week.
As the student was leaving, I pulled him aside to speak with him. Like last week, I felt a flash of inspiration. In that moment I realized that this young man really deserved to be praised. Although he was not able to make it through the whole group, he made it through more than half the group without being disruptive.
That is a dramatic improvement and worthy of appreciation. I decided to let him know how much I appreciated his improvement and awarded him the slip that I had first thought to deny him. He left the room glowing and told me that he looked forward to seeing me again next week.
The positive effects of praising someone for being who they are cannot be overestimated. Too often praise is reserved for those we consider best of the best, and withheld from the people in our lives who need it the most. This includes praising our own efforts.
I find that the world becomes much more friendly when I lead the way by praising the good that I see. I also find it easier to praise others when I take the time to praise myself. Every time we show up and participate in life and every time we lend someone a helping hand, even if it is our job to do so, we deserve a pat on the back.
My life, and my job, improve when I am more generous with praise. I have formed friendships in the school district, in my favorite coffee shops, and in the restaurants I frequent by appreciating the people I meet there for the small ways that they contribute to my life.
There are times when I feel like a teacher in a small town, like the one on Little House on the Prairie. I frequently run into parents and students while walking through Culver City. There are times when the very people that I need to speak to regarding something going on in the district happen to cross my path. This happens more often when I am in an open and appreciative state of mind. My friend endearingly refers to me as the “Old Schoolmarm” because no matter where we go, I seem to run into people I know and students I teach.
Give yourself permission to appreciate the people in your life more often. It is incredible what kind of ripple effect a little praise can have. What is even more incredible is how good it feels to get out of your shell and share your joy with the people around you. We do not have to go through hell to realize that life is heaven when we share our joy with others. We can start right now by letting the people we meet know how much we appreciate them.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live every Wednesday at 3 p.m. on www.Unity. FM. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius. com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting guide.