“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” – Chinese Proverb
Enjoying your time off is just as important as making good use of your time on the clock. While we all look forward to the weekend, or our lunch break, it is surprising how these times can produce stress in their own way. Giving ourselves the time to truly relax, and let go of stress, is vital to our success in every area of our lives.
Many of us feel that we have to justify our down time by making work of it. Whether it is family obligations, or obligatory events with friends, this misuse of our recovery time can leave us feeling more tired going back to work than when we left. When we ignore our own needs and desires in favor of other people’s ideas for us, we are missing out on valuable opportunities to connect more deeply with our own source of strength and vitality.
There was a student who came to me because he was not completing his assignments. His family and his teachers were concerned that he did not know how to write because he never completed more than one paragraph for his writing assignments. When we talked, it came forward that one of the reasons that he was not completing his assignments was that he was spending most of his free time doing something he really enjoys and I discovered he is skilled in advanced computer coding.
This 15-year-old young man was excelling in a college level computer programming class. He was completely disinterested in any of the work that was being given to him at the high school level. One of the options that was being considered was withdrawing him from the computer programming class so that he could focus more on his high school studies.
As an outsider on the case it was clear that, although the computer programming seemed to be the issue, it was not. The computer programming was something that inspired this young man and was likely the main road to his future career. The real issue was that he saw no need to complete the high school level work when he had found his passion and was excelling at a much higher level. All he really needed was to be celebrated for his gifts as a computer genius, and lovingly encouraged to complete the homework for his other classes.
Every one of us has something, or many things, that we love to do. It is important to put our energy into those things that naturally inspire us because those activities provide us the fuel to do all of the less interesting things that we may have to engage in. These activities that we enjoy bring us back to ourselves. It is this connection that is the key to our success.
I went through a challenging time approximately ten years ago. I was burned out on my job, and had lost touch with who I am. It felt like the real me was locked away inside, only making occasional appearances. The conflicting notions of what I was supposed to be doing were creating a great deal of anxiety, fear, and despair. It was then that I set out on a journey to find myself.
Somewhere along the road I realized that surfing is one of the things in my life that I truly enjoy. It dawned on me that it is a gift to find something that fills me up with enthusiasm. Since that time I have been surfing regularly. I do it because I am inspired to so, and I want to make the most of that feeling.
Perhaps there are things in your life that you have been laying aside in favor of other people’s ideas about what you should be doing. While it can feel disheartening to ignore your passions, there is hope. All it takes is a few simple steps in the direction of what you love for all manner of people and experiences to begin to conspire on your behalf.
When you have downtime, use it to do the things you love. Your joy and enthusiasm are the greatest gifts you have to offer the world. These qualities will open doors that would have otherwise remained closed. So go out and have some fun. Others can wait their turn.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.