“We increase whatever we praise. The whole creation responds to praise, and is glad.” – Charles Fillmore
We all go through times when we feel insignificant. When we do, it is tempting to be hard on ourselves. We might look outside for others who can help us to become something bigger, or to feel more important. While all of these things make sense, and can be helpful, there is a much simpler way to reclaim our feeling of empowerment.
During moments of self-doubt, and limiting self-assessment, our primary job is to remember who we are. Thoughts that make us feel small, or judge us as less than worthy of respect feel bad because they are not true. It is important to pause when we feel this way. We can recognize that our mind is taking us down a desperate road, and make a healthy choice.
Although it may feel futile, remembering our value will save us time and resources. Rather than frantically looking for someone else to affirm our worth, we can make a list of the reasons we are amazing. Our mind is like a boulder rolling down a hill; it picks up momentum as it goes. By writing a list of our positive qualities, our mind will gently start rolling in a new direction.
I recall a middle school student, who was in my class during my first year as a credentialed teacher
. She, like many of the students, was very judgmental of the other kids in class. One day the class was particularly lively. They were hurling insults at each other, and at me. Unsure what to do, and not wanting to look like a chump, I took a deep breath and spoke to them from my heart.
In a calm voice, I shared with the class how I had learned that when we judge others, we are really expressing judgments that we are holding against ourselves. Without singling out a particular student, I let them know that it feels better to be kind to ourselves and others. Just then the bell rang and the class got up to leave. I heard the sound of sniffles coming from the front of the room and noticed the girl who had been throwing out the zingers moments earlier. She had her head down and was sobbing.
It was clear that the truth had hit home, and that she was letting go of all of those pent up, painful feelings. After a few moments, I put my hand on her shoulder and told her to have a great day. She stood up, nodded, and went about her business. I could tell that she had released whatever weight she was carrying. It was as if the fullness of her being had come flooding back into her body and she looked like a new person.
Who we are never changes. As we evolve, we are really learning about, and expressing, more of ourselves. This is what attracts us to the great teachers. They remind us of who we are and what we are capable of. The root word for education means, “to draw out from within”. Our job is to recognize and share more of our own greatness.
If you are feeling small, it is time to pause. No one else is to blame, and you do not have to go anywhere to prove yourself. Your job is to remember who you are. As you take a few moments to breathe, and affirm your worth, your mind will relax. You will start to think new thoughts that take in to account all the good that you have accomplished and all that is yet to come. As you remember who you are, you will feel inspired. This inspiration might lead to taking action, or inspire you to take a nap and give yourself a break. The good news is that no matter what you have previously believed, you are already greater than you can possibly imagine.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com.