“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” – Kurt Cobain
Sometimes the very thing that seems to be a problem is also the solution. With children, for example, the student whose behavior is getting everyone else off-track, can also be the one to lead them back in line. Too often, we want to erase a quality in ourselves, or others, that we judge as being negative. Sometimes what is required is for us to change our perspective. When we do, we might be surprised that what we thought was a weakness is actually a strength in disguise.
Most of us have some part of ourselves that we believe is bad, or simply unacceptable. Somewhere along the line we were told, or told ourselves, that we were wrong or flawed because of that thing we do, or don’t do. Eventually we all come to a time in our lives that compels us to look at these judgments and resolve the discord we hold inside. The push and pull of fighting with who we are requires a great deal of energy. We also tend to judge others, and believe others are judging us, on the very things we judge ourselves for.
In our school district, we like to shed a light on all the different parts of our students. We believe that every type of student is needed for us to function at our highest potential. From the highly sensitive, to the thicker skinned, and everyone in between, we all deserve a world that works for us. The key ingredient to finding this world is to practice self-acceptance. Rather than limiting our potential, this approach actually frees up more energy which we can pour into everything we do.
We have a student in our district who falls under the category of highly sensitive. He has an amazing amount of energy. When he is feeling good, he is the brightest light in the room. If he is not feeling good, he wears his heart on his sleeve, and is prone to crying more readily than most. We have known each other for several years and I have seen him mature and learn to better focus his mind and emotions during that time.
Recently, some of his peers were making fun of him for crying in one of the lunch groups I facilitate. In their eyes, his crying was a form of weakness. After reflecting on the situation, I had a talk with the group. I reminded the boys that his sensitivity is a gift and that the same quality that leads him to cry easily, also lends to his great sense of humor, and helps him move faster than most students I know.
After a few minutes, one of the boys asked the group to raise their hand if they cried also. Slowly, all of the boys raised their hands. They acknowledged that anyone who said that they did not cry would be lying. I was amazed at what I was witnessing. In a short amount of time, our discussion led from judgment and ridicule to greater self-acceptance for everyone involved. While it is one step in the process, it was inspiring to me to see these boys honor their own sensitivity.
We all have things about ourselves that we believe are not up to par. Now is the perfect time to take an inner inventory. Begin by making a list of the parts of yourself that you have been hiding from, or judging in some way. Then make another list of all the ways that these same parts add to your life in some way. This activity will help you lift the blocks in your own creative flow. The confidence and joy you feel when you are accepting of your whole self, and the freedom you experience, will make you glad you did.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com.
