I’ll begin with this thought-provoking poem penned in 1934 by Peter Dale Wimbrow, Sr. This poignant work is also often referred to as “The Man in the Glass.”
When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you king for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t a man’s father, mother or wife,
Whose judgment upon him must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in life,
Is the man staring back from the glass.
He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But the final reward will be heartache and tears,
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
For me, the simplicity of this verse proves enormously profound. Although I’m not a huge poetry fan, the essence and spirit of these words spring from the page. Revealed between the lines of this iconic piece lie undeniable, universal truths. This poem confronts the reader with a straightforward, unambiguous question–do you like and respect yourself? Do you? It’s a tricky, complex subject if you answer honestly. If your response is yes, you must then also consider, why? I will now attempt to ease your burden regarding these queries.
In my humble opinion there are at least seven human qualities that I believe are essential for the amalgamation of what most people would consider a “good person.” In these examples I have included two comparable words as well as one word that illustrates their opposite meaning.
- Humility: modesty, reserve; arrogance.
- Loyalty: trustworthiness, reliability; treachery.
- Respect: consideration, regard; insolence
- Honesty: sincerity, integrity; deceitfulness.
- Compassion: concern, empathy; indifference.
- Generosity: charity, kindness; greed.
- Self-Awareness: understanding, enlightenment; oblivious.
Of course there are numerous other desirable attributes and elements required in the makeup of decent quality individuals. In a world of ever-mounting examples of crass, shameful behavior exhibited by so-called “celebrities,” I believe it’s increasingly important to stay grounded, with a tight, firm grasp on reality. With the over saturation of inane, tactless behavior glorified on the boob-tube daily, it requires a deep-seeded commitment to distinguish between right and wrong, especially if you have young children. Justin Bieber, Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardasahian, Chris Brown, Paris Hilton and Charlie Sheen are not to be admired for their anti-social outbursts or provocative exploits. Their fame and wealth adds nothing to their character. Anyone can trash a hotel room, berate a helpless employee, or shed their clothes for all to see on YouTube. There’s zero skill in those self-indulgent maneuvers.
What do you want people to say about you when you’re not present? Have you ever been involved in a conversation where someone indentified Lindsay, Kim or Paris as outstanding humanitarians or fantastic role models for their kids? Do you want Charlie Sheen babysitting your 11-year-old twins?
If I may leave you with a morsel of humble advice–the next time you’re staring at that familiar face in the glass, pause an extra minute or so. Gaze deeply into your very soul and ask is this someone with whom you would be honored and proud to spend the remainder of your life?
Pete Whalon, author of “The Siagon Zoo” has called Southern California home since age five.